Is it harder to forgive yourself or someone else? I think that it is harder to forgive someone else rather than yourself. It takes time to develop enough confidence in someone other than yourself, and therefore once your trust is betrayed it hurts more.
What are the roots of forgiveness? I think that forgiveness comes from the ability to move on. when one gains the ability to forgive, one has moved past and accepted whatever incident caused the conflict in the first place.
Is it harder to forgive yourself or someone else? I think it all depends on what you are forgiving yourself or someone else for. If you were to purposefully or even accidentally change someone's life forever, the guilt from that can stay with you for life. However, if someone were to do something to me that would change my life forever, I feel like I would be able to forgive them overtime. Therefore, I believe that it is harder to forgive yourself than it is to forgive someone else.
In Bobby's comment I notice the importance of confidence. Also, hurt seems an integral part of the process. The process of forgiveness involves addressing the hurt, it seems to me. Erin's comment suggests forgiveness means forward progress. I like this idea--that forgiveness signals forward, not backwards, movement. Is it hard to imagine a scenario in which forgiveness acts as a negative force? Seb raises a helpful question about what gives rise to the need for forgiveness. It may be that the answer to this essential question depends on the event or condition which calls for movement towards forgiveness. The stories we read will give us specific characters and situations to consider.
Forgiveness varies from person to person. For some, it is easier to forgive someone else verses forgiving themselves and for others it’s the opposite. It may also depend on the situation at hand.
At the moment (my views may change as the course progresses), I believe that the roots of some forgiveness (not all) is disconnecting yourself from the other person--it is a diminished amount of care for them. Perhaps the person has hurt you so deeply that you no longer attribute the same level of love or respect to them. You forgive them because you gave up on who you want them to be or who they were before the incident. You walk away emotionally released from the situation, but still understanding in the back of your mind who the person really is--they showed their true colors by upsetting you.
So, in summary, the root of forgiveness is understanding and acceptance of the other person's true character. Forgiveness is a release.
Is it harder to forgive yourself or someone else? I find it hard to answer this question because there can be many different scenarios like Sebastian pointed out. But right now I think it's easier to forgive yourself because if you were to be upset about something, you could forgive yourself and move forward to hopefully make yourself feel better. But if you forgive someone else, you're not quite sure whether the person will change after forgiving or will hurt you again.
Is it harder to forgive yourself or someone else? I believe both forgiving yourself and forgiving others are really hard. I agree with what Sebastian said about the the situation because it's obviously easier to forgive people for smaller things than life altering things. I think that forgiving yourself is harder though because there is the element of regret and knowing that you could have done something differently. For other people, you can't really control them but you have power over your own actions and sometimes it's hard to forgive yourself for that.
Kimiko, can we make any general claims about relative difficulty, or does the answer entirely depend on the individual? Can we generalize about human nature, while considering this essential question? Angie, I am intrigued by your apparently equating accepting with disconnecting. I have tended to think of accepting someone as moving me closer to that person. You have raised an interesting notion about the value of disconnecting. Melissa, you raise a helpful point about the power of regret, which typically grows from within. I also wonder about the connections between forgiveness and control; I had not thought about that relationship before.
Is it harder to forgive yourself or someone else?
ReplyDeleteI think that it is harder to forgive someone else rather than yourself. It takes time to develop enough confidence in someone other than yourself, and therefore once your trust is betrayed it hurts more.
What are the roots of forgiveness?
ReplyDeleteI think that forgiveness comes from the ability to move on. when one gains the ability to forgive, one has moved past and accepted whatever incident caused the conflict in the first place.
Is it harder to forgive yourself or someone else?
ReplyDeleteI think it all depends on what you are forgiving yourself or someone else for. If you were to purposefully or even accidentally change someone's life forever, the guilt from that can stay with you for life. However, if someone were to do something to me that would change my life forever, I feel like I would be able to forgive them overtime. Therefore, I believe that it is harder to forgive yourself than it is to forgive someone else.
In Bobby's comment I notice the importance of confidence. Also, hurt seems an integral part of the process. The process of forgiveness involves addressing the hurt, it seems to me.
ReplyDeleteErin's comment suggests forgiveness means forward progress. I like this idea--that forgiveness signals forward, not backwards, movement. Is it hard to imagine a scenario in which forgiveness acts as a negative force?
Seb raises a helpful question about what gives rise to the need for forgiveness. It may be that the answer to this essential question depends on the event or condition which calls for movement towards forgiveness. The stories we read will give us specific characters and situations to consider.
Is it harder to forgive yourself or someone else?
ReplyDeleteForgiveness varies from person to person. For some, it is easier to forgive someone else verses forgiving themselves and for others it’s the opposite. It may also depend on the situation at hand.
What are the roots of forgiveness?
ReplyDeleteAt the moment (my views may change as the course progresses), I believe that the roots of some forgiveness (not all) is disconnecting yourself from the other person--it is a diminished amount of care for them. Perhaps the person has hurt you so deeply that you no longer attribute the same level of love or respect to them. You forgive them because you gave up on who you want them to be or who they were before the incident. You walk away emotionally released from the situation, but still understanding in the back of your mind who the person really is--they showed their true colors by upsetting you.
So, in summary, the root of forgiveness is understanding and acceptance of the other person's true character. Forgiveness is a release.
Is it harder to forgive yourself or someone else?
ReplyDeleteI find it hard to answer this question because there can be many different scenarios like Sebastian pointed out. But right now I think it's easier to forgive yourself because if you were to be upset about something, you could forgive yourself and move forward to hopefully make yourself feel better. But if you forgive someone else, you're not quite sure whether the person will change after forgiving or will hurt you again.
Is it harder to forgive yourself or someone else?
ReplyDeleteI believe both forgiving yourself and forgiving others are really hard. I agree with what Sebastian said about the the situation because it's obviously easier to forgive people for smaller things than life altering things. I think that forgiving yourself is harder though because there is the element of regret and knowing that you could have done something differently. For other people, you can't really control them but you have power over your own actions and sometimes it's hard to forgive yourself for that.
Kimiko, can we make any general claims about relative difficulty, or does the answer entirely depend on the individual? Can we generalize about human nature, while considering this essential question?
ReplyDeleteAngie, I am intrigued by your apparently equating accepting with disconnecting. I have tended to think of accepting someone as moving me closer to that person. You have raised an interesting notion about the value of disconnecting.
Melissa, you raise a helpful point about the power of regret, which typically grows from within. I also wonder about the connections between forgiveness and control; I had not thought about that relationship before.